


time alone with you

by im_trash_lol



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: And Parentheses, Angst with a Happy Ending, Attempt at Humor, Fluff and Angst, Getting Together, Kinda Crack, Liberal use of Italics, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Pining, Roommates, except not because its set right now and they're still in college LOL, no beta we die like men, oh my god they were roommates, slightly OOC, sort of canon compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-31
Updated: 2020-07-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:00:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25563979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/im_trash_lol/pseuds/im_trash_lol
Summary: Suga closed his eyes, sleep still evading him, but he dreamt of the warmth of Daichi’s hugs. Of small moments together, his memories weaving together with his dreams. A peck on the cheek. Daichi pulling him close to slow dance as their pancakes burned. A nose pressed into his neck, nuzzling softly, a huff of laughter filling his ears. The smell of Daichi’s sun-warmed skin on a lazy Saturday afternoon on their roof. Suga tugging Daichi into a sprint down a grassy hill during one of their spontaneous late night adventures (which was all Suga’s doing, and always would be). Daichi’s eyes sparkling with amusement under the moonlight, and the sunlight, and the purple-red of the setting sun, and the yellow of the streetlamp, and the—The dream shattered around him. Snores filled the air.
Relationships: Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi
Comments: 10
Kudos: 81





	time alone with you

**Author's Note:**

> Title inspired by Time Alone With You by Jacob Collier ft Daniel Caesar 
> 
> This is my first ever fic hahaha, and story basically...I've never written a full story. Sorry if there's some weird lack of context, I sorta drop you into the middle of my head canon. I may write some extras on their pre relationship drama and some after fluff...idk
> 
> ALSO warning, the story takes a huge turn from humor to like sads bc IDK I HC Suga trying to play off his deeper feelings and sadness with humor. So it sorta just gets sad FAST. 
> 
> And slight spoilers for Castle in the Sky, Howl's Moving Castle, Frozen and Frozen 2, and Spirited Away. I'm sorry for that whole section I just had so much fun writing it and next thing I knew it was way long and I deleted a lot of it. 
> 
> (P.S. I dare you to count the amount of times I have to use the word "snore/snores/snoring" and my attempt at creatively switching it up every now and then...I'm not sure I was very successful)

Suga awoke to the rumble of Daichi’s snores. Blinking the sleep out of his eyes, he rolled over to look across the room at Daichi’s still form. With a fond ( _more tired and exasperated than fond at this point_ ) sigh, he squinted at the clock on his bedside table. Two in the morning. That was about normal this week.

Daichi’s snores echoed through their shared room. Suga pondered his existence, laying there at 2 A.M., the man he loved snoring at higher decibels than Suga thought was humanly possible. He had been in love with Daichi for close to four years now, two years in high school, and two years in college. He was now questioning that love. Maybe it was time to cut it off, move on. Daichi didn’t know, and would never know if Suga had anything to do with it.

Who could blame him? In the first year and a half they’d lived together, Daichi slept so peacefully. But then, the _incident_ happened, and the next thing Suga knew, he was getting three to four hours of sleep a night because of Daichi’s broken nose and deafening snores ( _with a small respite of a month when Daichi basically moved in with his girlfriend_ ). This week was especially bad, for some reason, and Suga had become almost fully nocturnal, napping throughout the day. Sometimes, he wondered if he’d have an easier time sleeping in the same room as a bear.

Daichi’s snores sputtered out, quiet finally falling. Suga closed his eyes to try to relax and fall back asleep, which was really a futile attempt, once awake he couldn’t fall back to sleep, and Daichi’s snores would probably restart in about two minutes.

Suga felt the tiredness edging into his mind, the stillness of the room peaceful. The slight yellow of the streetlamp shining through the barely open shades of his window, casting a warm sort of glow across his bed. His breathing started to even out.

And then.

Rattling, loud, _booming_ snorts filled the room. Huffing, wheezing, and the loudest snores of the night disrupted the peace and quiet. He’d thought that after six months of the love of his life literally thundering next to him, he would’ve figured out the best way to drown out the snores, and yet, it was not to be. Frustration finally overwhelmed Suga.

With a loud sigh, he ripped his duvet off his body and stomped towards Daichi’s bed. Suga brought his hand up, over his head, and with as much force as he could muster, slapped Daichi’s bicep ( _he honestly dreamed about those biceps, and really, if he was in a more aware state he would’ve, perhaps, very lovingly tapped Daichi’s bicep, probably groped it a tiny, tiny, bit_ — _a light squeeze and nothing more, Suga just really, really liked Daichi’s biceps, and thighs, and face, and back, and—_ ). Daichi grumbled sleepily, flopped onto his stomach, and resumed snoring. Suga dropped his head in defeat, sleep was for the weak anyway.

Daichi’s snores were more quiet now, thankfully, than when he slept on his back. Suga stumbled back to his side of the room, kicking aside a pair of jeans and a sweater, before face planting back in his own bed. He, again, tried to relax, to quiet his thoughts, and get at least an hour more of sleep but, alas, it was no use, and Suga was again, stuck with another night of two hours of sleep.

He sat up in his bed, determined to do something, instead of lay there, in the dark, pondering his life. Against his own, better judgement, he decided to look over at Daichi’s bed to, yes, watch him sleep for a bit ( _yes in the style of one, Edward Cullen. BUT in Suga’s defense, they live together and sleep in the same room. So…is it as creepy as Edward Cullen?_ ).

He could just make out the vaguely Daichi sized lump sprawled across the bed, back rising and falling with the loud, but thankfully not quite so powerful snores. More alert, he slipped back out of his bed, curiosity overtaking him. True, Suga might have seen, nay more like experienced, almost every one of Daichi’s sleeping habits in these last six months, but he couldn’t resist at least one peek at Daichi’s smushed face against the blue pillowcase.

Fondness and love overtook Suga’s annoyance and frustration. There was just something so, peaceful, and, cute about Daichi’s sleeping face. Daichi’s habits may have wrecked his own sleeping pattern, but the softness of his face against the juxtaposition of his cacophonous wheezing was somehow extremely endearing. And really, Daichi wasn’t a very handsome sleeper. There was definitely some drool dried on his face, his cheek was smashed into his pillow, face crumpled, and his eyelids weren’t fully closed. Daichi was, if Suga was to judge based on the small amount of people he’d seen sleeping, Daichi was definitely not the most attractive.

Yes, to be fair, this current position was probably the ugliest of them all, but it didn’t stop a welling of affection in Suga’s chest. He smiled softly, a quiet chuckle escaping his lips. The insomnia definitely sucked, but getting a chance to see, to experience Daichi’s awful, awful, sleeping style made it almost worth it. He may never get the relationship he wanted, dreamed of, but this, this almost made up for it, and he had lots of blackmail now.

Suga smirked, tip-toed back to his bed, and grabbed his phone. He snapped a quick flash photo ( _Daichi seriously slept like the dead, almost nothing could rouse him_ ). About to head back to his bed, Suga decided to double back and take a short video of Daichi snoring. Blackmail was blackmail and the position plus the snoring was prime real estate. For him to not take advantage of it would be a gross misuse of his time.

Fully awake, and having entirely eliminated the faint hope of sleep claiming him again, he left their shared room and went to their kitchen to brew himself a cup of tea. For the fourth time this week, Suga allowed himself time to wallow, to sink into the depths of his despair. Regret colored his thoughts. He knew he could never, would never ( _even with the godawful snoring_ ) willingly stop loving Daichi but, he was dying inside, and his lack of sleep was definitely not helping his situation.

Suga, whose fondness of subtle dramatics ( _especially early in the morning when his brain functioned at half capacity_ ), walked to the small window nook he had filled with pillows and a blanket. He sprawled across the cushions, propped up enough to sip his tea, but slumped enough to fully prepare for the self-pity he was about to indulge in.

Sighing, loudly ( _sometimes Suga dreamed he was a sickly Victorian man, it added an air of elegance and a certain panache to his wallowing in the early morning_ ), he gazed out the window to stare at the view, the brick walled building across the way even uglier in the moonlight. Tilting his head up, he gazed at the strip of stars he could see, contemplating his love for Daichi, and Daichi’s unattainable existence in his life. Being friends was easy. Love. Love was another matter entirely.

In his most favored, idealistic, world, Suga would’ve confessed before they decided to room together, but after two years of domestic bliss, besides this current small, small hiccup of Daichi’s sonorous snoring, Suga couldn’t even begin to fathom an attempt to move their relationship from friendship to anything more.

But, there was this feeling about that nook, at 2:30 in the morning, something almost magical. So, when he was curled up on that bench, wrapped up and sipping tea, the smallest glimmer, the smallest seed, of hope blossomed, just a bit. It was probably the lack of sleep, Suga thought, and yet, it wasn’t easy to push away the little things that felt like _more_. More than Suga could ever, should ever, presume was actually, well, more.

There was something about the softness of Daichi’s expression, on Sunday mornings, just the two of them, as they danced around the kitchen and made breakfast. Something about Friday nights, when they sat, squished together on their too small couch, and watched movies. There was just _something_ about Daichi’s smile, and in his eyes when he stared at Suga, maybe, just a bit. Just something about the time they spent alone with each other. Which, Suga was almost certain, was really just a side effect of the 2 years they’d lived together, and nothing about it implied any true pining from Daichi, simply true friendship at its finest ( _no matter how Suga wished it to mean something else entirely_ ).

Part of him was entirely convinced Daichi flirted with him, and that love filled his eyes when Suga did something especially stupid. The other part, the rational part, the part that knew the truth, the part of himself that ruled his brain _knew_ that all of those moments, those bits of time when it felt like Daichi might love him back. Those were all his own wishes, his overwhelming want, projected onto Daichi.

The stars were dim in the city, and the ache Suga had pushed away returned against his will. The flicker of hope that had waned, going out completely. In any event, after two years of sharing a space and three years of being best friends, Suga knew Daichi like the back of his hand. And, by all accounts, Daichi was very, very straight ( _his, now ex-girlfriend, of ten months proving that he at least liked girls_ ), or was very, very deep in the closet. Suga chose to believe the former because the idea of Daichi being bisexual, and just not _wanting_ Suga was worse. The very implication made his heart break, just a little, just a crack, nothing more.

Suga closed his eyes, sleep still evading him, but he dreamt of the warmth of Daichi’s hugs. Of small moments together, his memories weaving together with his dreams. A peck on the cheek. Daichi pulling him close to slow dance as their pancakes burned. A nose pressed into his neck, nuzzling softly, a huff of laughter filling his ears. The smell of Daichi’s sun-warmed skin on a lazy Saturday afternoon on their roof. Suga tugging Daichi into a sprint down a grassy hill during one of their spontaneous late night adventures ( _which was all Suga’s doing, and always would be_ ). Daichi’s eyes sparkling with amusement under the moonlight, and the sunlight, and the purple-red of the setting sun, and the yellow of the streetlamp, and the—

The dream shattered around him. Snores filled the air.

Though the door was closed, Suga could still hear the rumbling snores. Sliding out of the nook, Suga meandered towards the table and set his now empty cup down. In a move that was, quite frankly, against his better judgement, he crept back to their room and carefully opened the door.

The sound of the snores hit him full force. Suga was most definitely awake. And he had come to a decision, it was time for an intervention. He needed sleep. He needed to stop himself from dreaming up too many almost realistic scenarios, of what was truly an impossibility. He needed to reaffirm the promise he’d made to himself, Daichi will never know, Suga will never willingly admit his love for him, and Daichi was his best friend above all else. He needed to pull his heart from that, hopeful sensation, that seemed to only appear during those quiet and dark early mornings.

———————————————————————————————————————

Sometime around 5 A.M., Suga, surprisingly, dozed off against the window. Then, to his delight, and agony, he was awoken at 7:30 A.M., when Daichi accidentally slammed their front door shut. Startled, Suga fell off the window seat, and onto his tailbone. Confusion overtook his sleepiness, and he whirled around to face the front door, where, to his chagrin, Daichi was doubled over, wheezing, no sound escaping his lips. Suga frowned, grabbed a pillow from the window seat, and hurled it straight at Daichi’s head.

It connected with a satisfying thump, but it did nothing to stop Daichi’s laughter. At this point, he had collapsed on the floor, and Suga had time to appreciate his current attire. Yes, his fall was embarrassing, but that would never stop him from appreciating Daichi’s running outfit, the shorts riding up his thighs, the tight shirt showing off his broad shoulders, and his biceps.

“It’s not that funny!” Suga exclaimed, while simultaneously grabbing another pillow to throw at Daichi.

“Oh— _wheeze_ —my—hahaha—you, you should see your face.”

Suga frowned petulantly and stood up, rubbing his sore tailbone, “Dude fuck off, my ass hurts now. Why’d you have to slam the door shut?”

Daichi chuckled lightly before calming, rolling off his knees and settling in a seated position on the ground, “I’m sorry, haha, I honestly didn’t mean to, but I was surprised to see you still asleep on the window seat.”

Suga walked towards him, pouting still, “And, somehow, you were so surprised you slammed our front door shut?”

Daichi reached up to grab Suga’s outstretched hand, clasping it and allowing himself to be violently yanked up.

“Thanks, and I’m sorry.” Daichi tried to muffle another burst of laughter. “I really didn’t mean to, but you know how our door is, it just swung shut.”

Suga flushed lightly at their proximity and stepped backwards, crossing his arms across his chest, like a barrier.

“Yeah, yeah. I know.”

“I’m really sorry, are you okay?”

Suga sighed, eyes pointedly fixed on Daichi’s collarbone, a weak attempt to get his heart to slow and the blush to disappear ( _which was 100% because of embarrassment, not because Suga’s eyes caught on the sweat dripping down Daichi’s neck, or the flex of his arms, and chest, and—_ ).

“I’m fine. I just thought I was finally past this sorta pain after quitting volleyball.”

Daichi grinned, lips clamping shut to muffle another burst of laughter, “You’ve definitely fallen harder playing volleyball.”

He bent down to grab the two pillows Suga had flung at him, bumping their hips together as he brushed past Suga to place the pillows back on the window seat. Unable to stop himself, Daichi chuckled once again, arranging the pillows exactly as Suga liked, before heading to the kitchen for a glass of water.

Suga’s heart tightened at the sight of Daichi arranging his pillows exactly right ( _because really only Suga curled up on the window seat_ ). A fond smile lifted his lips up as he followed Daichi into their kitchen, grabbing a cup to brew himself another cup of tea.

“So,” Daichi drawled, “why were you asleep at the window seat again? This is what, the fourth time this week I’ve found you there when I wake up?”

Well, Suga figured, now was as good a time as any, and honestly, the idea of Daichi finding out he _snored_ was an amazing thought. He could almost imagine Daichi’s reaction. “First of all our nook is extremely comfortable.”

“Doubtful.”

“It is!” Suga insisted.

“You look all cramped sleeping there, why not just use the couch or, better yet your perfectly nice _bed._ It took four hours for you to choose the right mattress.”

“Are you still on that?” Suga whined, “It’s been a year, and good mattresses are important, they’re an _investment_.”

Daichi sighed, “You didn’t answer my question.”

“You interrupted me.”

“And for that I am immeasurably sorry, please continue, Suga.”

Suga frowned at his sarcasm, Daichi really spent far, far too much time with him.

“Well?” Daichi pushed, as Suga pouted and glared at him.

“It’s not that big of a deal, its really just a small, small thing…” Suga trailed off.

“Yes? You think I wouldn’t notice how tired you’ve been? I figured you’d tell me eventually but its been months and you still haven’t. What’s wrong?”

Suga’s face split in a devilish grin, “Perhaps it would be better to show you what I mean.”

Daichi froze, that look never meant anything good for him, and he’d learned over the years, when Suga grinned, or really smirked like that, he was to be feared. Daichi winced a bit, but nodded for Suga to go ahead and show him. Regret already crossing his face.

Suga whipped out his phone and picked the newest video in his camera roll. Sidling closer to Daichi, he pressed play and let the dissonant symphony of Daichi’s snores rattle through the speakers of his phone.

Daichi’s face contorted, a look of complete confusion screwing his features up. Suga’s grin widened.

“That’s me?”

“That’s you.”

Daichi glared at the screen as the video stopped. Suga pulled his phone back and replayed the video, allowing Daichi to see the screen again. Suga watched his reaction, taking in the quick play of emotions crossing his face. Confusion, annoyance, humor, before settling on blankness. Daichi was silent as it played through again, and when it ended, Suga immediately pressed play to start it over.

“Okay! I get it, you don’t need to—”

Daichi was cut off by his booming snores again. Suga was crying, his silent laugh twisting his features into a look of pure exuberance. With a groan of annoyance, Daichi snatched the phone out of Suga’s hand, turning off the video ( _which was now playing again for the fifth time_ ). Suga sniffled, wiping the tears of mirth off his face, his laugh bursting forward as he tried to speak, “Haaa—I, I really, ahahah, wanted to edit all of the—”

Daichi clapped a hand against Suga’s back in a mixture of annoyance and as an attempt to stop Suga’s delirious laughter.

“I wanted to,” Suga took a deep, deep breath, and looked up at Daichi’s unamused expression, which sent Suga into another round of giggles, “I thought it would be funny to compile the videos I’ve gathered of your snoring, but you asked me about it and honestly this was just as funny. Maybe I’ll still compile all of the videos anyways.”

A wide, wide, grin was still splitting his face. Daichi glared down at him, face stoic, before a small smile flashed across his face.

“I guess it is pretty funny…” Daichi trailed off, a fond look crossing his face as Suga took back his phone.

Suga picked up his cup of brewed tea, taking a sip to try to calm himself further. Small giggles escaping his lips every now and then. Daichi frowned suddenly. Suga paused, the cup halfway to his lips.

“What?” Suga asked.

“Wait, how many months?”

“Oh, about six, give or take, it’s got something to do with the way your nose broke, I think.”

“So you’ve been having trouble sleeping because I snore so, insanely, loud?”

Suga sighed, “I mean, yes. It isn’t all bad, the humor makes up for part of it, to be honest.”

“Dude,” Daichi exhaled in disbelief, “how much sleep are you getting? How did I not notice? I thought your eye bags were getting worse, but I just assumed it was school stress combined with your new job as a TA.”

Suga grimaced a bit, “Yeah, that part isn’t so fun. I should’ve said something sooner, maybe? But I just assumed I’d get used to it eventually.”

Daichi nodded, urging him to continue, “How many hours are you getting?”

“Ugh, well, I’ve been getting about three to four hours a night for the past six months? This week’s been a teeny, tiny bit worse, but I was also stressed, so it really isn’t completely _your_ fault.” 

As Suga spoke, Daichi’s face fell, a horrified look overtaking, and then, it settled on something almost like pity ( _or maybe extreme worry? No, no Suga was projecting again. That had to be it)_.

“Suga, why didn’t you tell me? I thought, well besides the snoring, I thought you were sleeping better.”

“I—well, I didn’t want to worry you? I thought I could figure it out sooner? It really has only been worse this week, and I’ve had time to nap during the day, so it isn’t terrible.”It had been pretty terrible, but the look Daichi was giving him was, awful, was even worse than the lack of sleep. Suga’s goal, now was to force him to stop worrying. Suga could survive the sleep deprivation if it meant Daichi would stop being so concerned.

Daichi’s frown deepened, “Suga, we’ve known each other for 5 years now. We’ve lived together for _two years_. You should’ve told me!”

Suga grimaced, “Daichi, it’s really fine, let’s talk about this later. It’s too early for this and I’m tired.”

A look of mortification crossed Daichi’s face, like he’d just realized Suga could be sleeping still if he hadn’t woken him up, like all of this was his fault. He reached for Suga’s teacup and snatched it from his hand before marching him towards their bedroom.

“Daichi? What are you doing?”

Shoving more insistently, he answered, “You are going back to sleep. It may be Saturday and not our Lazy Sunday, but you need more sleep. When you’re rested we are discussing a solution because you need sleep and I like living with you.”

In a show of strength, that was wholly unnecessary, not that Suga was complaining, Daichi picked Suga up, throwing him over his shoulder, and threw Suga onto his bed. Then, he wrenched the duvet up over Suga’s head and aggressively tucked him in.

“Sleep.” He commanded, before exiting their room to let Suga sleep.

Suga sighed as he attempted to get more sleep, an exasperated grin on his face. In the early morning hours, when his logic was screwed, just a bit, he relished the idea of telling Daichi the whole truth. That Suga’s sleep deprivation was a mixture of stress, Daichi’s snoring, and Suga’s overactive imagination creating countless scenarios of their friendship becoming a relationship. His face flushed at the memory of Daichi picking him up and dropping him in bed.

Suga heard a rustling sound, and then the blanked was pulled off his head. Daichi grinned down at him.

“Do you think you’ll be able to sleep anymore this morning?”

Suga’s flush deepened, Daichi was handsome like this ( _and really he was quite handsome most of the time but there was something about this Daichi that made his stomach fill with butterflies_ ), fresh out of the shower, skin slightly red from the hot spray, and his current position, leaning over Suga fueled his overactive imagination. He blinked, quickly, the normal level of gay panic he always resided at spiking.

“Yes. I mean no. I’m not sleepy.”

“Okay, how about this, you stay in bed and rest because I still feel guilty, and I’ll make you some breakfast in bed?”

“Well, when you put it like that…how could I ever say no?”

Daichi smiled down at Suga, ruffled his hair, and then turned to leave. As subtly (not very subtle, Daichi had his back turned so he’d never know), Suga stared at Daichi’s retreating form, eyes roaming the expanse of Daichi’s back, and, ( _could you blame him_ ), the magnificence that was Daichi’s gluteus maximus. Daichi paused before exiting the room, Suga snapped his eyes away, hoping Daichi hadn’t turned his head, or at least hadn’t seen Suga’s gaze.

“Oh, and Suga?”

“Yes?” Suga wince slightly at the high-pitched squeak of his voice.

“I can tell when you’re lying, I know you’ve been hiding something from me these past few weeks. We’re definitely going to talk about it sometime today, okay?”

Suga groaned. “Fine,” he drawled out, extending the word.

As Daichi’s gait resumed, Suga looked back towards the door, catching a glimpse of Daichi’s retreating figure. The panic was becoming stifling. He was used to low-levels of gay panic daily, but the prospect of Daichi questioning him, because who was he kidding, if Daichi pushed hard enough, worried enough, _cared enough_ , Suga would spill the truth.

Suga flopped around on the bed, kicking his legs about as he tossed and turned. This was entering dangerous territory. His current state of mind could barely handle being around Daichi and acting as normal as possible. Now, to try to talk out his troubles, and possibly, get close to the territory of his _feelings_. Suga violently flipped onto his back and lay, like a starfish, with his eyes closed.

He heard a stifled snort. Suga tensed, before slowly turning his head towards the door, eyes opening. And then he saw him. There, standing at the door, phone camera pointed at him, a devilish grin across his face. Suga felt heat rising up his neck and across his face.

“Nooooooooo!” Suga threw his arms over his face, and turned away from the camera pointed at him, “Daichiii stop it!”

He heard Daichi’s footsteps as he walked closer, “It’s been awhile since I’ve seen that sort of, how should I say it, tantrum? From you?”

Suga yanked his sheets over his head, refusing to answer.

“I’m sorry for laughing,” Daichi paused to laugh more, “but really, after the videos you have of me snoring, I deserve some funny shit too, don’t you think?”

“Yes, no, I don’t know. I thought you were still cooking!”

“I am, but I wanted to know what kind of eggs you wanted today? I was going to do sunny side up, but sometimes you want poached.”

Suga could still hear the lingering smile in his voice,“Oh, yeah, uh, sunny side up is fine, thanks.”

He startled a bit at the feeling of Daichi’s hand patting his head over the blanket. Against his will, his heart beat faster. It had been a while since they’d both had time to hang out alone, so all of the little things, combined with the fact that Daichi was taking care of him today was making his heart and mind go into overdrive.

“Okay, breakfast will be ready in a few minutes, I’ll bring it to you when it’s done.”

Suga nodded, his head still under the blankets, cheeks aflame. The sound of Daichi leaving reached his ears, muffled under his duvet, and then he paused.

“Hey, if it was too much, let me know. I’ll delete the video.”

Suga sighed, laughing lightly, Daichi really was far too kind, “No, no it’s fine. You made a great point, I do have countless videos of you snoring.”

“Okay, then. I’ll go finish breakfast then. Rest a bit more.”

Suga folded the blankets down, turned to look at Daichi, grinned, and said, “Sounds good. Thank you, Daichi.”

Their eyes met, and Daichi seemed to be searching his face for, _something_ , Suga had no idea what. With a deliberate nod, Daichi smiled softly, spun on his heels, and went back to the kitchen to finish their breakfast. 

Suga was getting tired of his body betraying him. He hated the blush, the way his heart beat faster at basically anything Daichi did. At this point he was honestly shocked Daichi hadn’t noticed his feelings. Suga sat up in his bed and leaned against his headboard, wincing at the memory of their first year living together when Suga was overly flirtatious. He remembered his deliberate attempts to attract Daichi’s attention, to see if the proximity was creating some sort of romantic love for him.

The answer, Suga had concluded, after a year of thinly veiled admissions of love ( _he distinctly remembers drunkenly telling Daichi ‘I love you’ three months in_ ), was absolutely, and unequivocally no, Daichi saw him as just a friend, and he was not in love with Suga. Anyways, no matter how much Suga wished for Daichi’s love, he wouldn’t make a move _now_ especially since it’d only been two months since Daichi and his girlfriend had broken up.

Suga got onto his knees to reach up and open the blinds. He gazed out at the street, catching glimpses of early risers every now and then. He was determined, now, that no matter what the conversation turned to, Suga would keep the truth to himself, he would keep it a secret. He closed his eyes and listened to the sound of Daichi cooking in the other room. Suga smiled softly at the sound of the clattering pots and pans, the smell of eggs, the sound of the fan running, and Daichi’s own quiet curses every now and then. The domesticity of it all warmed his heart. Eventually everything will end, but for now, before Daichi pushed him to talk, he was determined to enjoy the little things.

A few minutes later, Daichi whirled into their room with breakfast, bowed and exclaimed, “Breakfast is served, good sir!”

Suga threw his head back with a snort of amusement, and then watched Daichi approach his bed. Still sitting against his headboard, he lifted his hand to grab the plate Daichi offered him.

“Thank you for the food, idiot.”

Daichi sat at the foot of Suga’s bed, cross legged, with his own plate of food balanced on one knee. Immediately, Daichi began wolfing down the food. Suga ate slower, eyes head lowered towards his plate, glancing up at Daichi every now and then. Flicking his eyes back down to his lap, he brought a bite of egg and toast to his mouth, chewing slowly. Subconsciously, before he could stop it, his eyes lifted up to Daichi’s face. Their eyes met.

Daichi smiled at him around a mouthful of food, “It’s good right?”

“Ew, Daichi, don’t be gross. Don’t talk with your mouth full of food, and yes, it’s good. Thank you.” Suga finished his admonishment with a smile.

Daichi swallowed the food in his mouth before saying, “No worries dude. I’m glad you like it, especially because eggs are one of the few things I can cook well.”

Suga nodded and hummed in agreement, starting to eat quicker when he glanced up and realized Daichi had finished his breakfast.

“Jeez you eat so quickly.”

“I was hungry.” Daichi punctuated his statement with a shrug, “Morning workout and all. Take your time though.”

Suga nodded his thanks, continuing to eat at a slower pace. Daichi shifted a couple times, faced the window to watch the people passing below, before saying, “So…I was thinking…”

“And?”

“How about we have a nice lazy day today and watch movies and T.V. shows? I know that’s usually our Lazy Sunday Funday plan, but you don’t have work, I don’t have work, and we both don’t have plans. And we can still do our Sunday shit Sunday too, but I thought it’d be nice, and maybe you’ll be able to nap and—“

“Daichi! That sounds nice. I’d love that.”

Daichi’s head snapped up to look into Suga’s eyes, like he couldn’t believe Suga would say yes.

Suga gave a short laugh, “Did you really think I’d say no?”

“Well, no, but you hate when our traditions get messed with too much.”

“I resent that.”

“You do!”

“Ugh,” Suga sighed, “I only was annoyed because _you_ cancelled on me four weeks in a row.” 

Daichi winced like Suga had hit him, “I’m sorry about that. I shouldn’t have cancelled four weeks in a row.”

“It’s fine now, I’m over it. It wasn’t really your fault, you had your girlfriend, work, and finals. I get it.”

Suga’s heart ached, he felt himself closing off as he uttered those words. He kept his eyes fixed on his plate, methodically scraping the remnants of his breakfast to one side. At the edge of his vision, he watched Daichi uncross his legs before getting off the bed and reaching for his mostly empty plate. The air between the two was tense. Suga hated it. Daichi hadn’t done anything wrong, but Suga had made him feel bad for something he couldn’t fully control.

“Are you done?”

Why was Daichi so nice to him?

“Yeah,” Suga whispered, “I’m done.”

Daichi exhaled loudly, “And, my plan for today? You can pick the movies.”

Suga smiled, and nodded, lifting his head up to look in Daichi’s eyes, “The plan sounds great.”

“Great! I’ll wash up. We can watch on the couch or in bed, your call,” Daichi said while walking out of their room to wash the dishes.

Suga climbed out of bed to follow Daichi into their kitchen.

“Staying in bed all day sounds amazing, but I think a change of scenery would be better.”

“Alright!” Daichi exclaimed, his voice taking on a sound of forced jubilance, “couch it is!”

Suga winced, his back turned to Daichi, as he settled on their couch and turned on the T.V. to pick the first movie. He appreciated Daichi’s attempt at making him feel better. The squeak of their faucet reached his ears, and then the sound of Daichi scrubbing the remains of their breakfast down the sink took over. Suga let his mind fall into a daze as he scrolled through possible movie options.

Horror? No, he really needed to be in the mood for it. Romance? His heart hurt too much and he wasn’t into the idea of watching happy couples. Comedy? Maybe, something about the idea of pure comedy didn’t sit right with him, he wasn’t really looking forward to trying to force laughter while he was sad. Drama? Sad, sad movie? He kinda liked the idea of that, but no he didn’t need another reason to wallow. Maybe…

“Hey! How about a Studio Ghibli marathon?”

The sound of scrubbing stopped. A world heavy, bone weary, sigh left Daichi’s lungs.

“Every time you choose a marathon its Studio Ghibli. I really don’t know why I even ask anymore? I always hold out a little hope you’ll choose something different. But no, Ghibli.” Daichi muttered, just loud enough for Suga to hear, but just quiet enough that if Suga chose to, he could fully ignore anything Daichi said.

“Hey! Fuck off. They’re my comfort movies! Let me have this!”

Suga heard the water shut off.

“Comfort movies my ass. They’re your everything movies. You watch them when you’re sad, when you’re happy, when you’re not feeling any particular which way about anything.”

“Okay.” Suga grinned, “You got me. In my defense, Ghibli movies are the perfect mixture of all emotions, when one may be extra sad, the next is lighthearted. Each movie has its own unique balance of each emotion. Most are balanced equally between all relevant emotions. Thus, they are the perfect movie for anytime. In this essay I will—“

Daichi snorted. “Okay, okay I get it! Stop it. I never said no.”

Suga let his head fall backwards and over the back of the couch to stare at Daichi walking towards him. The smile on Suga’s face widened as he watched an exasperated, but soft, grin spread across Daichi’s face.

“Don’t even deny it, you enjoy every Ghibli marathon we have, and whenever you pick we always end up binging,” Suga brought his hands up to add air quotations, “ _classics_ , like Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, and Harry Potter. Which. Dude they’re not even actual _classics_. Yet.”

Daichi stopped, standing at the back of the couch. He reached forward and squished Suga’s cheeks together to stop the tirade.

“You’re right about that, even though I hate it hear it.” While he spoke, he varied the pressure of his hands, squishing Suga’s cheeks.

Suga tried to frown, but his cheeks were too squished, forcing his lips into a pursed pout.

“Having fun there bud?” (It sounded more like: _haffing fun dere bud_ )

“Yes, tons of fun.” Daichi pinched his cheeks and pulled outwards.

Suga whined in protest, smacking at Daichi’s hands while repeating, “Off, off, off, off.”

Daichi let go, his booming chuckle intermingling with Suga’s high pitched whining. 

“As punishment for the squishing of my cheeks, we’re not only watching Ghibli movies, we’re gonna watch Frozen and Frozen 2, too. And you have to sing along with me.”

Daichi rounded the couch to settle in next to Suga, closer than he expected. “I guess I deserve that.”

Suga’s pout turned into a grin. “You get to be Elsa and Hans. Besides Elsa’s big songs, I get her big songs. You can sing along with me for them too I guess.”

“Wow, thank you so much. I really appreciate the parts, and the allowances you’ve given me.” Daichi deadpanned.

Suga sniffed imperiously, “You’re welcome. Only very special people get the _special opportunity_ to sing Elsa’s power ballads with me.”

Suga scrolled through the movies he’d bought, settling on Castle in the Sky. “But first, we are watching the amazing _classic_ that is Castle in the Sky.”

“Yes, oh great one, what a good first choice.” Daichi stated with a blank face.

Suga smacked him on the arm before pressing play. Settling in to watch Castle in the Sky, and prepping himself for the inevitable commentary that was bound to occur.

———————————————————————————————————————

“Why did you play the English dub with Japanese subtitles?”

“I thought you wanted a change, Daichi? I thought you were bored of Ghibli marathons, so I switched it up.”

“It is sort of fun.”

“Isn’t it?”

……

“Ahahaha— SHEETAAAAAA! I love the way he says that. So much _passion_.”

“Sheeta is such a badass honestly. You wish you could be that cool, Daichi.”

“Wait, is that, who voices the English dub of Muska?”

“Uhhhh. Mark Hamill, I think.”

“Holy shit. It is Luke Skywalker. He sounds so—evil. I love it.”

……

“Damn, what do you think Luke Skywalker has against _nature_.”

“Suga, obviously, he’s used to the sandy dunes of Tatooine, the greenery in the heart of Laputa must really, really annoy him.”

“That, makes so much sense.”

……

“Every single time you make me watch this I don’t understand how Pazu and Sheeta survive the crumbling _stones_ of Laputa.”

“Suspend your disbelief. Movie magic. Love finds its way. The Castle loves them. All that shit.”

“Wow, Suga, you are _such_ a romantic.”

“Aren’t I?”

……

“I love that movie,” Suga sighed wistfully, “Although, in my ranking of Ghibli movies it’s only 5th.”

“What’s next?”

“Hmm, I think we’ll do your favorite, Spirited Away.”

“Hell yeah, I’m ready for the radish spirit.”

“I’m more of a stink spirit man myself.”

“That never fails to surprise me.”

“And that’s exactly how I feel about your _love_ for the radish spirit, it’s so _basic_.”

“He’s innocent, and that dance is everything. Remind me why you love the stink spirit? That’s pretty fuckin basic too, Suga.”

“Hey, he’s rich, he’s old, he’s powerful. What more could a man want?”

“Huh. Touche.”

“Daichi, it’s _toosh-ay_ not _toosh_.”

“The more it annoys you the more I say it.”

“I’m just gonna start the movie shitwad.”

“ _Toosh_.”

“I _really_ hate you sometimes.”

“No you don’t.”

……

“Hypothetical question…”

“My answer is basically the same every time Daichi.”

“Would you eat the food?”

“I wouldn’t even leave my car.”

“Wow, liar, last time you said no to the food, but you’d explore. Now you wouldn’t even leave your car?”

“Dude, the entrance alone is creepy, and after watching Buzzfeed Unsolved, I wouldn’t chance it. Would you eat the food?”

“It looks so good it might just be worth it. At the very least I’d explore like Chihiro, Suga. I wonder what the psychological implications of our answers are.”

“Probably that you're crazy and I'm normal."

"Nah, it's the other way around."

……

“I take back what I said.”

“What?”

“No Face is best boy.”

“Suga no.”

“Yes.”

“He’s vomiting everything he ate right now.”

“ _Best Boi._ ”

……

“What’s next on your list then, Suga?”

“My favorite, Howl’s Moving Castle.”

“Why is that one your favorite, again?”

“Obviously, _Howl_. Also Calcifer, I mean who wouldn’t want a sarcastic, sassy fire demon as a friend.”

“Huh, _toosh_.”

“Really? That bit is overused at this point, Daichi.”

“Can’t stop won’t stop.”

“Jesus.”

……

“Unpopular opinion, black haired Howl is superior.”

“Is that unpopular, Suga?”

“I honestly don’t know, but I generally see edits of blonde haired Howl.”

“ _You watch edits of Howl_?”

“I—no, well—yes, but, in my defense, they just pop up, I don’t _actively_ seek them out okay?”

“You watch edits of Howl.”

“He’s the prettiest animated character. He’s a wizard. He’s what _dreams_ are made of.”

“Okay, okay. Whatever you say.”

……

“Hypothetical question.”

“I guess it’s your turn huh.”

“Yes, Daichi, it’s my turn. Would you give your heart away for power?”

“Nah, not worth it. I like feeling things.”

“Huh, that makes sense. I dunno. If its to get a lifelong sassy companion I just might.”

“Of course you would.

……

“Popular opinion, silver-haired Sophie is superior.”

“Hahaha, you’re not wrong, Daichi. I think she’s superior because she’s more confident.”

“It’s the confidence and the big chop. And the color.”

……

“What’s next on your list?”

“Hmm, I think its time for Frozen.”

“Okay…”

“Yes, you still have to sing along, I assigned your part, you will do it.”

“Yessir. Can we get popcorn first?”

“Yes, Daichi, we can.”

……

“Love is an open dOOOOoooooooor.”

“DOOOoooOOOooor.”

“We sound awful.”

“We sound so awful.”

“You’re blowing it, Daichi.”

“You made me do it, if your ears start bleeding it’s not my fault.”

“I regret it.”

……

“She’s so naive.”

“Daichi, both sisters are a bit naive.”

“That’s what happens when your shut up in a castle and never interact with the only other person close to your age.”

“Let it Go rocks though.”

“Let it Go is annoying, Suga.”

“It rocks.”

“It rocks.”

……

“I gotta admit—”

“Please, don’t Suga.”

“Hans is kinda hot when he does his evil thing.”

“Oh my god. ‘Does his evil thing.’ Suga he _is_ evil.”

“I dunno man, I read a theory about how the trolls cast a spell on him and the evidence is a bit condemning.”

“Suga no.”

“Suga yes.”

……

“Frozen 2 time?”

“Hell yeah. You can have Olaf’s song. I’ll sing the rest of the parts.”

“That hurts me, Suga. That really hurts me.”

“Hey, blame your tone deafness.”

……

“Suga, is it just me or does the elements and shit remind you of Avatar: The Last Airbender.”

“Only the bit about the four elements, but it’s seriously just the _four elements_ , it’s been used before.”

“Conspiracy theory: Frozen is the white version of Avatar: The Last Airbender.”

“Daichi…no.”

“You can’t convince me otherwise.”

……

“Scratch what I said before, Let it Go is fine, Into the Unknown rocks.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen this before.”

“Dude, what? Daichi…how?”

Daichi shrugged, “It just never happened?”

“You are in for a _ride_.”

“ _Great_.”

“Don’t sass me.”

……

“Holy shit is this an 80s rock power ballad?”

“Best song! Best song! Best song!”

“This is my favorite song, Suga.”

“Of course the 80s rock power ballad is your favorite. You are such a dad.”

“I take that as a compliment.”

……

“Huh, well, kinda predictable, but fun! I’ll watch that again with you sometime, Suga.”

“I’m glad you liked it. In my opinion Frozen 2 is better than Frozen.”

“Whoa, thems fighting words.”

“Fight me then.”

“I don’t _not_ agree with you.”

“ _Good_. You better agree with me, Daichi.”

……

Daichi snatched the remote before Suga could start Kiki’s Delivery Service.

“Wha—hey!”

“We can start it in a second, but first we need lunch.”

Suga frowned, a little, about to object, when suddenly his stomach grumbled.

“I guess you’re right,” Suga sighed. “Traitor.” He mumbled at his stomach.

Daichi laughed before tugging him towards the kitchen. “C’mon lazy ass. Look in the fridge and tell me what you want.”

Suga opened their painfully, woefully, empty fridge. He tapped his chin in mock contemplation. “Well, we could have eggs. Or eggs. Or…get this, eggs and butter. Or—“

“Take out it is. Chinese or pizza?”

Suga looked up at Daichi, excitement crossing his face, before answering, “Mapo tofu extra extra spicy.”

“Chinese then.”

Turning away from Suga, and shaking his head in horror at Suga’s order, flashbacks of the absolute hellfire that is the extra extra spicy mapo tofu. Suga watched as Daichi headed back towards the couch to grab his phone and call their regular Chinese place. Suga turned back to their kitchen, grabbing mugs and preparing green tea for two.

The murmur of Daichi ordering ended after a minute, the sound of him walking back towards the kitchen catching Suga’s attention.

“Oh my god really?”

Suga smirked at Daichi’s expression. “I know you use this cup when I’m not home.”

“You have no evidence.”

Suga shoved the cup towards Daichi, the design facing him. Daichi sighed, before grabbing it and sipping the hot tea.

“The kids are going to be so happy you still use that cup.”

“Suga, the ‘kids’ are going to graduate soon.”

Suga just stared as Daichi fondly stroked the specially created mug, the picture of the Karasuno team smiling back at him with the words, ‘World’s Best Dad’ below the picture.

Suga smirked a bit before stating, “You’re expression proves me right. You love them and you love that cup. Don’t test me. I know things.”

“Yes yes you’re right. Happy now?”

“Extremely. I wish I took a picture and sent it to Asahi.”

Daichi frowned, “Just Asahi?”

“Yep!—” Suga answered, pausing for effect before finishing, “sent it to Asahi, who shows it to Nishinoya, who’d send it to Tanaka, who would show it to Ennoshita, who would text it to Narita and Kinoshita. Oh, and Asahi would definitely send it to Shimizu, who would send it to Yachi, who would send it to the rest of the first years. Unless, possibly, Nishinoya just texts it to everyone in the group chat.”

“I hate how right you are.”

“I love how right I am.”

Daichi grinned at him, before walking back towards the couch, motioning for Suga to follow him back to the couch. Suga grabbed his cup before bounding back to the couch, somehow not spilling a single drop of hot tea. Daichi had already settled in, blanket lifted for Suga to get under.

He slid in, letting Daichi place the blanket onto his lap. Suga leaned forward to grab the remote to start the next movie while they waited for their lunch. Before he could though, Daichi plucked the remote out of his hand and placed it as far away from Suga as possible.

Suga glowered, “Hey, I was gonna play Kiki’s while we wait!”

“Nope,” Daichi said, popping the p, leaning back and tucking one leg onto the couch so that he could face Suga completely.

Suga froze. Daichi knew him too well. He couldn’t run out, he was hungry. He was relaxed after a few movies. He wasn’t ready to talk.

Daichi frowned at Suga’s expression, “Hey, if you’re really uncomfortable I won’t pressure you to talk to me about what’s been going on. But I know how you work, Suga. You need to talk your shit out to feel better. Please, I’m your best friend. Just, talk to me.”

Suga felt stiff. He knew that if he just kept pushing Daichi away it would negatively affect the relationship they had. He stayed quiet though, trying to come up with a _good_ excuse that Daichi might buy. Anything to steer the conversation away from the truth. And then, Daichi reached forward and grabbed his hand, carefully pulling at the fingers to unclench his hand from the fist it was in. Suga glared at Daichi’s hand, but allowed him to carefully unfold his fingers, one by one.

“Suga?”

“Yeah, sorry. I’m—I’m trying to gather my thoughts.”

Daichi sighed, “As in find a convincing lie?”

Suga laughed lightly while shaking his head, “No, no, more like what can I omit.”

Daichi stared at Suga silently, before folding forward, placing his forehead against the hand he was holding, and then whispering, almost too quietly for Suga to catch, “Fine, fine, omit what you want, I can live with that. Just, please let me help you.”

Suga lifted his other hand to stroke Daichi’s hair absentmindedly, fingernails scratching and massaging his scalp. “I’m your best friend, huh?”

“Yes, Suga, of course you’re my best friend,” Daichi paused to look into Suga’s eyes, before continuing, “ _I love you_. You were there for me all through my breakup. Let me do the same for you. Please, please, plea—”

“Stop. Stop.” Suga squeezed his eyes shut, hand falling from Daichi’s hair, fist clenched. He pulled his hand out of Daichi’s, he needed that separation before he opened up to him. Before he caved and confessed the truth: _I love you but that’s not enough._ Because Daichi _loved him_ but he wasn’t _in love_ with him.

Suga turned his head so he wasn’t staring into Daichi’s eyes. Daichi’s warm, chestnut brown eyes. Full of hope that Suga will tell him the truth, full of something like adoration. Adoration for his _best friend_.

“I just. I’ve been so stressed and busy lately.” Suga paused, and then tilted his head to lay against the back of the couch, eyes pointed up to the ceiling.

“And, I’ve been worried about…things.”

“Things?” Daichi questioned, hand reaching up, like he was trying to stroke Suga’s hair back, or grab his hand again, but he faltered and laid his hand back in his own lap.

Suga exhaled, long and slow, before continuing, “Well. I was worried about you.”

“Me? Because of the breakup two months ago?”

“Yes, no, well, yes and no.”

“Suga,” Daichi said in his best judgmental, disappointed voice, “you’re being obstinate.”

“Ugh, I know. Fine. I was worried about you because of the breakup. I mean for two weeks you were really _really sad_. And I didn’t know how to help you besides sitting with you. And…and I was angry at her for breaking your heart after almost destroying our friendship. I wanted her to be worth it for _you_. When you kept cancelling on me, and you weren’t around the apartment except maybe twice a week, I told myself, ‘Daichi loves her, she’s worth it, she _loves him_.’But it _hurt_. I’d basically lost my best friend. Of course you didn’t need to be there for me all the time or anything. I just. I expected you to at least still talk to me. And then she broke your heart, you were torn up, and I was still angry and sad that you’d basically abandoned me, but I was there for you. I kept you company. I comforted you. I drank with you.”

“Suga…”

“Please, let me finish.”

Daichi nodded his assent, his face twisted in an expression of guilt and hurt, and Suga felt terrible. This beautiful man didn’t deserve his anger. He didn’t deserve this. Didn’t deserve to be forced to sit through Suga’s tirade, through Suga’s attempt to work through the feelings he’d been harboring for _weeks_.

“Daichi.” Suga averted his eyes, pointing them back towards the ceiling. His hands were clenched in his lap.

“Daichi, the worst part was how much I _fucking missed you_. I did my best to understand why you were, were gone. It felt like suddenly I wasn’t your best friend. Like…like you were avoiding me. And I pretended I was okay with it but I really, _really_ , wasn’t. I wanted to be selfish and tell you to stop cancelling and hangout with me but, I could see it in your face, you _loved_ her. I could never take that from you, could never take away a chance for you to be happy. And then you come back into my life, you never told me what went wrong in your relationship, you’re living back in this apartment and you _wreck_ my sleep schedule. Now, now everything is suddenly, somehow, fine all of a sudden. Except it isn’t fine. _I’m not fine,_ but I want to be. So badly.”

Suga trailed off, his breath leaving him in gasps, his hands were shaking and he could feel tears trailing out of his eyes. He felt his body relax a tiny bit, the most important reason he was decidedly _not okay_ (i.e. his being in gay romantic love with Daichi) was still secret. Daichi was silent. Suga kept his eyes closed, not wanting to look at the hurt that was most likely on Daichi’s face. Regret that he opened his mouth, and that he let all of his thoughts out started growing.

Suga took a shuddering breath in, “Daichi,” he whispered, “Daichi I’m sorry. I didn’t—I didn’t mean to say so much.”

“Did you mean all of that?” Daichi murmured quietly, voice shaking.

“I—”

“ _Please_ don’t lie to me.”

Suga’s breath left all at once, chest tightening again, “ _Yes,”_ he breathed out.

Daichi’s hands pressed into Suga’s, one hand reaching up to wipe the tears away.

“Suga look at me. Please.”

Suga tensed up, and then lifted his head up and looked into Daichi’s eyes. Suga gasped. Suga panicked.

“Oh—oh, no no, I’m sorry.” He yanked his hands from Daichi’s, hands shaking slightly as he grasped Daichi’s cheeks, wiping away the tears sliding down his face. “I didn’t want this. Daichi I’m okay now, I got it out, I’m sorry, stop crying please.”

Daichi shook his head, grabbed Suga’s hands against his cheeks, and tugged them down. He kept his hands clenched around Suga’s own, “Suga, don’t apologize. I’m sorry. I’m so, so, unbelievably sorry. Truthfully, yeah, I thought I loved her, but not enough. Not in the way I should’ve. And at the end, when I was cancelling plans with you, when I wasn’t around, it didn’t feel right.”

Suga started to shake his head again.

“Suga, Suga, I knew it wasn’t right. She did break my heart a bit, but, it hurt more that I had put time and effort, followed her whims, and _left you_ , than the fact that our relationship was over. By the end of our relationship I was grasping at the vague impression of all the things I thought I loved about her. She knew, she could tell, and she started to demand more. Ask me to stay. And I felt bed because I didn’t realize how much my love for her was fading. I just felt guilty and wanted to be kind to her.”

Suga stared at Daichi’s face, wide-eyed. He was shocked at this revelation. Shocked at Daichi’s admission.

Daichi continued speaking, thumbs stroking Suga’s wrists as he clasped their hands together tightly, “I should never have…I should never have followed her, her, impulses and avoided you.”

He paused again, trying to gather his thoughts. “And—and I am so, sorry I put you through that Suga. You are, and always will be my best friend, and I will always regret consciously avoiding and cancelling plans I may have had with you.”

Suga smiled thinly at him, tears streaming down his face still. “Wow, Daichi. That was the best apology I’ve ever received. Thank you. Of course I forgive you.”

Daichi’s face lit up he tugged on Suga’s hands, pulling him into a hug. Suga was sprawled across Daichi’s lap, hands weakly clenching at the back of Daichi’s shirt. Daichi hooked his chin behind Suga’s shoulder, and Suga buried his face into Daichi’s neck.

The doorbell rang, startling both of them.

“Lunch!” Suga exclaimed, pulling out of Daichi’s warm embrace ( _and the feeling of his strong arms holding him tightly, and the way his back flexed as his arms moved_ ). Suga wiped his tears away quickly before running towards the door to yank it open before the delivery man could ring the doorbell again.

The smell of their food wafting into the apartment, and Suga stared, fixated on the plastic bag full of their food.

“Uh, hi, delivery for…Daichi?”

Daichi appeared at Suga’s side, “That’s me. Thanks.”

Suga grabbed the food while Daichi paid. Suga walked back to the couch, setting the food down on their coffee table, before rushing to the kitchen to grab utensils. Daichi finished paying right as Suga finished setting up their eating area. Gleefully, Suga grabbed his mapo tofu and started scarfing it down, watching Daichi silently judge him as Daichi slowly sat down and picked up his own take out container to start eating.

Daichi took a few bites before pausing and saying, “Suga, the rest of this conversation can wait until after lunch, but is there anything else you wanted to tell me? Any other worries?”

Suga swallowed his mouthful of food before answering, “Yeah, you’re snoring is epically loud. I’m worried we’ll get a noise complaint, or you’ll make your nose cave in, or something.”

Daichi groaned, shoveling a few bites into his moth before answering, “Okay, okay, we’ll come up with some sort of solution soon. In all seriousness, besides my abhorrent snoring, is there anything else?”

Suga’s mouth said, “No, not really,” but his mind, his heart, supplied the real answer, _please fall in love with me_.

Daichi let him eat a few more bites before quietly whispering, “I can tell you just lied to me, but I won’t push you. Just, I’m here for you, 100% now, and if you ever feel comfortable talking to me about it, I’ll gladly hear you out. I’m really _really_ not going anywhere this time.”

Suga nodded a few times, stuffed his mouth with more mapo tofu, and let a comfortable silence fill the air.

“Wait, Daichi.”

“Yeah?”

“You, you were actually avoiding me while you were dating…her?”

Daichi winced, “Ah, uh, I had hoped you would forget that bit.”

“You actually were avoiding me?” Suga stared at Daichi, jaw dropped, “Why the fuck were you avoiding me?”

“Shit, Suga, I—fuck okay, don’t be angry.”

“I’m sorry is there something I should be angry about?”

“Ugh, okay.” Daichi groaned, “This is embarrassing. Here’s the truth, the reason she started getting angry at me, and monopolizing my time, and, she, she did actually ask me to stop hanging out with you so much. Well, she thought you had…a crush on me.”

Suga felt the blood drain from his face. “ _What_?”

“Yeah. And I told her you know, you might be gay but that doesn’t mean you like every single guy, right? But she didn’t believe me and got really mad at me for defending you.”

Daichi snuck a peek at Suga’s face, to gauge his anger. “Suga?”

Suga didn’t answer, his face was filled with panic. His mind was a jumbled mess, _had he been that obvious_?

Daichi uttered a choked chuckle, his face tight, “She kinda sucked, huh?”

Suga smiled, stiffly, “Y—yeah I guess.”

Their eyes met, Daichi’s worry filled eyes searching Suga’s face, “Hey, is it that worrying? I swear I don’t see you any differently. I know you. I trust you.”

Tears welled up in Suga’s eyes, his face still fixed in a weird half smile, “Sorry, I’m okay haha.”

“Clearly,” Daichi murmured, “you’re not okay. I should’ve left her the moment she said shit like that.”

Suga couldn’t handle it, Daichi’s hands were placed on his shoulders, their faces close. In a show of desperation, Suga shoved Daichi away and covered his face, muttering under his breath, “Fuck, fuck, fuck fuck fuck fu-”

Shocked, Daichi kept his hands on his own lap, palms up, like a peace offering. He couldn’t find any words of comfort, he was stumped, he was speechless.

Then, Suga got up and sped off to their bedroom, rolling himself up in his duvet, like it would protect him from their impending conversation. Daichi sat on the couch for a few beats, confusion written across his face, before he sprang up and ran into the bedroom, immediately crossing the room to Suga’s bed.

“Dude, this is not an effective way to get out of this conversation. You literally ran into our _shared_ bedroom.”

Daichi heard a muffled wet chuckle mixed with a sob. Suga curled up even tighter in fetal position, back towards Daichi, and hidden under his duvet. A hesitant hand stroked his back in comfort. And they sat there, minute after minute, Suga’s heaving chest wrenching louder and louder sobs from him. Daichi eventually migrated, curled up around Suga’s body, arms wrapped around him, and he murmured quiet words of consolation and comfort.

Finally, Suga’s sobs waned, and Daichi quieted, but held him, hand softly stroking Suga’s arm in silent comfort. Suga started whispering, and Daichi strained his ears, catching snatches of words, but hearing one thing over and over again, “I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?” Daichi whispered.

Slowly, hiccuping over his words still, Suga answered, “I—I’m sorry, because you fought because of me. I’m sorry because she wasn’t _wrong_.”

Daichi’s body froze against Suga’s.

Suga pushed on, everything was spilling out and there was nothing he could do to stop himself, “I never wanted to tell you. I just wanted to be, be in your life for as long as possible.”

“Suga—”

“And, and I know _you_. You’re, amazing, and such a good friend. And I, I’m in love with you. But I know it’s not enough, I know you don’t feel the same, and that’s okay. I just didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable because of my feelings. I swear I wouldn’t.”

“Suga, wait.”

“Just, I wish, you’d, _please fall in love with me_. But, but I know that would never happen and I’m really, really okay with it.”

Suga paused, he felt his face flushing, still wrapped tight in his duvet. He took a deep breath, about to start rambling again to stop Daichi’s inevitable rejection.

“Suga, I lied to you.”

Daichi tugged the duvet to uncover Suga’s face. Suga firmly kept his eyes towards the wall, away from Daichi’s prying eyes. His mind whirled, _what did Daichi mean_?

“She was angry because she thought you had a crush on me, she broke up with me because she realized I was in love with you. I didn’t even really realize how I felt until we broke up, until she _told_ me what she suspected.” Daichi paused to laugh quietly, gently tugging at Suga’s arm to get Suga to face him. “It’s too late for you, I already love you.”

The blush on Suga’s face and neck deepened, his face was blank, “What. Are, are you serious?”

Daichi stroked his cheek, “Yes. Suga, how could I not? You’re funny, devilish, kind, sweet, and the best friend I’ve ever had.”

A smile was growing on Suga’s face. He reached up to pinch his arm, “Is this a dream? Oh my god this isn’t a dream. You love me?”

“Dude, I hate to break it to you but you’re also like, _insanely_ beautiful. Like, how are you even real?”

“I love you too, oh my god this is so embarrassing, and I am such a mess right now.” Suga winced, covering his face with his hands. He continued, voice muffled by his hands, “You’re also fairly attractive. I could definitely do worse.”

The sound of Daichi’s booming laughter filled the room, before, suddenly, he leaned down and started kissing Suga’s hands. Short pecks were laid all across his hands, down his wrists, on tiny bits of skin that Suga’s hands couldn’t cover, his forehead, and then Daichi pulled Suga’s hands away from his face.

“I avoided you because I fell for you, and I think I’ve probably loved you for a very long time. And I think I’d like to kiss you now.”

Suga nodded, vigorously, and then stopped just as quickly, “You think you’d like to kiss me?

“I know I would,” Daichi uttered as he leaned down, his hands gripping Suga’s own, tightly. Their eyes slipped closed, their breaths mingled, then, Suga felt a light, soft pressure against his lips.

Daichi pulled back to look in his eyes, “Okay?”

“Okay.” Suga murmured, before reaching up and tugging at Daichi’s neck to pull him into another kiss. It was, everything Suga had dreamed of, and more. It was far from perfect, but the whisper of Daichi’s breath against his face, the way their lips moved in tandem, the feeling of Daichi’s fingers trailing down his face, stroking his neck, tangling in his hair, _it was everything_.

Suga’s own hands took advantage of his newfound freedom. He moved his hands from Daichi’s neck to his shoulders, stroking a path down Daichi’s muscled back, fisting his hands into Daichi’s shirt, and ending up pressing against Daichi’s flexing biceps ( _which was a dream come true, he was literally groping Daichi’s biceps right now, while they made out, oh my god_ ).

A giggle burst forth from Suga’s lips, into the kiss, he couldn’t help it. He was just, shocked that this was happening, bewildered, and so, so happy. Suga’s giggles started Daichi’s own deeper laugh, and then they were laughing into the kiss, pulling away from each other as they reveled in their shared happiness.

“Sooo,” Daichi trailed off, playfully, “I’m guessing you’re down to go on a date or two with me…?”

Suga winced, before attempting to shove Daichi away ( _which didn’t work so well because, yea Suga had muscle, but Daichi was hefty and made of more muscle than him_ ).

“I take it back, I rescind my confession. Let’s just be friends—ooof.”

Daichi flopped on top of Suga, head on his chest, “Are ya free tomorrow, drama queen?” He asked, propping his chin up to look at Suga’s face, his own morphed in a suggestive sort of smirk, eyebrow raised.

Suga lifted his hands to trail down Daichi’s back, then back up his sides, and stopped at his shoulders massaging lightly before answering, “I think that can be arranged…”

They smiled at each other, basking in the afternoon sun shining through Suga’s windows. Daichi flipped onto his back, off of Suga, before tugging Suga over to lay on his chest. And, with Suga’s ear pressed against Daichi’s chest, the soothing thump of his heartbeat reverberating against Suga’s skull, he drifted off into a much needed nap, Daichi’s fingers slowly trailing through his hair.

———————————————————————————————————————

Suga awoke to the morning sun shining against his face, feeling refreshed, and very _very_ warm. The warmth enveloping him shifted slightly, arms tightening around his waist, and a nose nuzzled the back of his neck.

“Good morning,” Daichi rasped, voice still thick with sleep.

As quickly as he could, without elbowing Daichi in the stomach or face ( _which happened once and, while funny, was not enjoyable for Daichi_ ), Suga shifted to turn and face Daichi, a sleep heavy smile draped across his features. Daichi, in a move that had become quite normal with every morning they shared, plucked the earplugs out of Suga’s ears, and tossed them onto their nightstand. To express his thanks, Suga leaned forward to peck Daichi on the nose ( _which scrunched up cutely under the pressure of his lips_ ), and then once on his lips.

Daichi stroked Suga’s face softly, a matching smile on his lips, “How’d you sleep, Kou?”

“Despite your snoring?”

“Despite my snoring.” Daichi groaned in exasperation.

“Well, thanks to my very own, personal space heater!"

Daichi grinned, reaching forward and pulling Suga into another kiss, deeper this time. Suga smacked him away lightly, “Ugh mmh, Dai, babe, morning breath.”

“And yet you love me.”

“Despite my best efforts, yes, I love you.”

Suga sighed in contentment, before flopping onto Daichi's chest, falling back to sleep to the feeling of Daichi's fingers tracing patterns on his back, the steady rise and fall of his chest, and Daichi's quiet humming. 

**Author's Note:**

> Leave a kudos and comment if you want? I just wanted to write a funny/fun story with a lil sads bc all the characters I write need to suffer a little, so I hope you enjoyed the journey. I initially was writing this for Daisuga week, but meh I decided to just post it now. 
> 
> A lot of lil song references, okay maybe only two but yea.
> 
> oh shit and also sorry for the ending, I don't love it but I hope it's not too bad??
> 
> Let me know if anything is confusing hahaha, it makes sense in my brain but I also didn't really take time to edit it....


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